Friday, March 30, 2007

Chipotle Mexican Grill

It's hard to tell which of the menu items at Chipotle Mexican Grill are made with crack. The quesadillas are not, but the burritos definitely are. And the folks at the DEA should definitely check out the tortilla chips, as well as both the hot salsa and medium "green" salsa. Who knew you could get strung out on a condiment?

There's a been a bit of controversy, crack-wise, when it comes to Chipotle. It seems they received some training from majority stockholder McDonald's -- it was all a bit hush-hush. That's all in the past, but we know the folks at Mickey-D's could speak at length about getting their customers hooked on some fatty goodness... (Big Macs? French fries? McNuggets? Apple pies?) Clearly they must have passed on a few super-size strategies to the Chipotleans at some point!

So check your diet at the door and order up some barbacoa tacos or a chicken burrito. You'll be back for more. And tell the spicy salsa I said, "Hi!"

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Hobee's Cinnamon Coffeecake

Friday, March 16, 2007

Girl Scouts Thin Mints Cookies

With their saccharine "golly gee can you help us?" faces, who wouldn't want to buy cookies from harmless little girls? Or, as I now refer to them, crack dealers.

Experienced addicts know that we're talking about the Girl Scouts of the USA, the confectionery crime syndicate who's been stringing us out on their chocolate-mint wafer cookies for over 55 years. Deceptively named "Thin Mints", these things aren't just made with crack, they’re made with some sort of top secret, high-potency crack.

Opening a new box of Thin Mints (to me, a "crack pack") is both a thrilling and dangerous prospect. The only thing that keeps an entire box from evaporating before my eyes is that it contains two sealed plastic tubes of cookies. But as soon as you break the seal on one of those… *poof* …it's gone.

It’s not just that it's hard to stop eating these things. Once they're gone, withdrawal symptoms start to set in. Where will the next fix come from? Fortunately, I keep a spare box in the freezer… frozen crack is awesome!

For alternate reading, I recommend A Tale of Chocolate Addiction and its Tiny Peddlers.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Tim's Cascade Style Jalapeño Potato Chips

It's funny... I don't even like potato chips all that much, unless they've got some kick-butt flavor. And if there's one thing the flavor in these thick and crunchy Tim's Jalapeño Potato Chips can do, it's kick your butt.

Sure, your lips are on fire, but would you have it any other way? These damned things are so good you'd swear the nutritional panel on that large 20 oz. bag said "Serving Size: 'Til You Run Out".

Sadly, the Tim's brand seems to only be available on the west coast (USA) so far.