Sunday, April 29, 2007

Greenlee's Bakery Cinnamon Bread

There are very, very few words that can do justice to the horrificly addictive properties of the cinnamon bread from Greenlee's Bakery in San Jose, California. It's so potent, that Mrs. Wise Cracker has banned herself from buying it ever again! OK, make that until swimsuit season's over.

If you look closely at the photo (click the picture, I dare you!) you can see the veins of crack throughout the loaf. And I'm quite certain that the crack-infused glaze is just as deadly.

If you live in the area and can get it fresh and warm from their bakery, check the corners for undercover narcotics agents... they'll be watching. If not, score it online or from one of their local dealers. It's worth absolutely every minute on the treadmill!

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Blackberry

Who would have thought in 1978 that if your calculator and your walkie talkie snuck off for a weekend of fun they'd breed this... The Blackberry -- a workaholic's dream!

It's known affectionately to some as the Crackberry, and for good reason. These suckers have done more to feed 21st-century communication addicts than any other technology since my grandmother finally figured out what email was. If you get the shakes when you're away from your computer, this might be just the drug you need.

Never had one myself, but I did pick up an imitator... a Windows Mobile-based smartphone. It's not without it's quirks, but addictive nonetheless. If you get one, take out extra insurance for your thumbs 'cause you may be tap-tapping away until nerve damage is imminent.